Laugh out loud

Why wear a wrist watch when you know it's not working??? Some people go say no to use am cover hand. You wan cover hand you no see handgloves? Ah tire ooo! Me: abeg my sister what's the time on your wrist watch please. (She's struggling to bring her phone from her purse) She : its 7:36 .... Sorry my watch just stopped working Me: thank you (scoffs) Una good morning 😂😂 Somebody will kneel down jeje to propose to bae.passerbys dat notin concern wil be shouting "say yes!say yes"!na you wan marry am?😂😂😂🏃

_1. What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?_ *Stress is when wife is pregnant;* *Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant;* _*Panic is when both are pregnant!*_😀😀😀 _2. Grammar Teacher: Do you know the importance of a period?_ *Kid: Yeah, once my sister said she has missed one, my mom fainted, dad got a heart attack & our driver ran away!*😀😀😀😀😀 _3.  A young boy asks his Dad: "What is the difference between confident and confidential?_ *Dad says: "You are my son, I'm confident about that. Your friend over there, is also my son, that is confidential!*😀😀😀😀😀 _4. A bookseller conducting a market survey asked a woman ;_ *“Which book has helped you most in your life?”* *The woman replied , “My husband’s cheque book!”*😀😀😀😀😀 _5. A prospective husband in a book store: Do you have a book called,_ *Husband  the Master of the House?* *Sales Girl : “Sir, Fiction and Comics are on the 1st floor!"*😀😀😀😀😀 _6. Someone asked

A student failed JAMB 5 tyms. 1 day, she travelled 2 visit her frnd in UNIBEN, she fell sick & was admitted to a hospital there. She later called her mum & said... GIRL: Hello ma MUM: The place is silent, whr r u? GIRL: I'm in UNIBEN MUM: Wooow finally, thank God o GIRL: I was admitted MUM: Thats great o. God has disgraced the witches in ur father's house dat don't want you to go to school (laughing & dancing) GIRL: Mama na Malaria o MUM: Malaria is a gud course o my daughter, plz take it serious o GIRL: I would b discharged 2moro MUM: God forbid my daughter!!!. U go complete ur four years over there in Jesus name. Girl: God punish Illiteracy!!! Mum: Amen..... coz I heard dat d lecturer is very wicked. Please don't laff alone, send it to your friends and make their day be fun.

Have you ever been guilty of looking at others your own age and thinking, "Surely I can't look that old."? Well . . . you'll love this one. Please read to the end: My name is Jumoke. I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist. I noticed his DDS degree on the wall, which bore his full name. Suddenly, I remembered a tall , handsome boy with the same name had been in my high school class some 25-odd years ago. Could he be the same guy that I had a secret crush on, way back then? Upon seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any such thought. This balding, gray-haired man with the deeply lined face was way too old to have been my classmate. After he examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended my Federal Government College. "Yes, yes, I did.' He gleamed with pride. "When did you graduate?" I asked. He answered, "In 1986. Why do you ask?" "You were in my class!!!!", I exclaim

Three Types of Smell in a Bedroom after Marriage: First Six Months: Perfumes, Body Sprays, Flowers, Body Lotions, Fragrances etc .... The whole place! smells like heaven! *One Year & above: Johnson Baby Powder, Baby Lotion, Castor Oil, Olive Oil, Abidec Vitamins & other Baby's Medicines etc .... *50 years & above: Nerve and Bone Gel, Aboniki Balm, Loco, Alabukum, Man Tiger, Arthritis Medications, Waist Pain Ointment, Essential Balms etc .... Abeg no be me talk am o!!!😜😂😜😂😜😂😜😂

*I FOUND THIS USEFUL SO I DECIDED TO SHARE* ⚫Never use car stickers that says where you work, especially if you have a prestigious job, don't let show off kill you. ⚫Don't be the one that tries to empty the ATM machine by making large withdrawals ...You don't need 50k in your wallet to feel like a man. ⚫When you attend parties, don't let the band get you so high that you start spraying money like no man's business, use an envelope. ⚫Always delete your bank transaction notifications, especially SMS...you really can memorize your bank balance....Shred ur POS/ATM receipts. ⚫Don't go jogging while it's dark, you really should be smarter than that. If you can, get someone trusted as company. ⚫Always lock your doors, even if you're only going out to switch off your generator. ⚫NEVER EVER, NEVER EVER WEAR YOUR ID outside your work place. No one needs to know you work with Union Bank, don't be stupid. ⚫As much as you can avoid it, don't s